User:GrampaSwood/AprilFools2021

Staff Disclaimer

Everything should settled on and ready by March 31. Take all the time you need until then to discuss, organize, and put together everything you'd like to show up in the fake update.

Please try to avoid the following:

New weapons or balance changes that are based on actual problems with TF2

Bug fixes or game changes that address actual TF2 problems

Anything regarding matchmaking or promised features

Try to make something that is very obviously a joke update, it's better to go over the top than to be subtle. It's okay to make fun of other Valve games, as long as it's done in jest rather than out of malice. — Tark lm(pt-br) 20:54, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Ideas

Accepted

 Once an idea gets 5 or more   votes with little to no   votes, it should be moved here.

Proposed

 Put your ideas here. Please treat this like a talk page and put your ideas under Proposed with your signature under it.

GrampaSwood's ideas

Patch note ideas:

• Turned all classes into pickles. Funniest shit we've ever seen.  3 |  1
• Depending on the value of the cosmetics a class is wearing, the class will receive a damage bonus ranging from -5% when there's no hats to +50% with expensive Unusuals.  3 |  0
• All servers now host a 100% crit cp_orange or trade_minecraft map.  3 |  0
• Removed "Report" button because it was used too much. (Credit to Fiat_Seicento for this one).  3 |  0
• Players often complained that matches don't last long enough on maps like 2Fort and Hightower. To fix this, we put invisible walls in the middle of the map to make it impossible to do the objectives.  4 |  0

These are just some of my ideas, feel free to vote on it. Idk what the threshold is for accepting one, I guess we'll have to figure that out based on the amount of people that want to participate
GrampaSwood (talk) 18:46, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Some of these don't sound like real patch notes. They should sound like real patch notes unless the goal is explicitly not to. Naleksuh (talk) 18:51, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

In Jungle Inferno they added some explanation, patch notes can just be general gameplay changes and don't have to be "added 10% extra damage to Iron Bomber".
GrampaSwood (talk) 18:53, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I'm talking about stuff like instead of "Due to an increase in reports that matches don't last long enough on maps like 2Fort and Hightower, we put invisible walls in the middle of the map to make it impossible to do the objectives." it would be something like "Added invisible walls to prevent pushing the payload in Hightower" or "Fixed a bug where the intelligence could be picked up in 2Fort". Because it doesn't sound like valve's writing style. However, a possible exception to this could be "FIX BUG w/ h1gh tower cart being pushed" (something they obviously would not write, as part of the joke) Naleksuh (talk) 20:26, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I'll change it a bit. Though please vote on them.
GrampaSwood (talk) 20:33, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I also propose a possible hoax in addition to the main page changes. For example, about the heavy update dropping. Just like with previous years, there can be articles about it (that will be moved into Project namespace once it's April 2nd US time, April 3rd EU time), and YouTube demonstrations as well. Naleksuh (talk) 20:26, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

IIRC no speculation like "heavy update about to drop" or something similar, because there was something against plausible things like that I don't remember exactly what it was though.
GrampaSwood (talk) 20:33, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

How about "Dropped the heavy update" as a patch note with no furthur explanation like Fiat Seicento suggests, and we'll come up with a new "big hoax"? Naleksuh (talk) 20:45, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Fiat Seicento's ideas

Here are mine:

• Adjusted inflation of MvM money  2 |  0
• Due to COVID-19 outbreak (also called Coronavirus) all upcoming matches between RED & BLU teams have been suspended until further notice  3 |  0
• Fixed a bug in which Sun-on-a-Stick and Sharpened Volcano Fragment could be useful  3 |  1
• Diary products such as Mad milk will now deal more damage to non lactose tolerant players  4 |  0
• You can now apply war paints to Classic  1 |  3
• Added Artifact promotional items  3 |  0
• Updated localisation files  3 |  1
• Removed in-game medals  3 |  1
• Team Fortress 2 has been ported to new Valve's engine! GoldSRC!  2 |  0
• Added dynamic weather and day & night cycle (mostly noticeable in Hightower/2fort matches)  1 |  0
• Fixed a bug allowing Engineer with The Danger to cook meth for money  1 |  0
• Cp_orange has been added to competetive map pool  2 |  0
• Fixed a bug where killing another player will result in anger of killed player  2 |  0
• Fixed Sniper's piss which was incorrectly yellow instead of red  2 |  0
• Heavy's miniguns and SMG's can now overheat  2 |  0
• 01101000 01110100 01110100 01110000 01110011 00111010 00101111 00101111 01110111 01101001 01101011 01101001 00101110 01110100 01100101 01100001 01101101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110 01100011 01101111 01101101 00101111 01110111 01101001 01101011 01101001 00101111 01010101 01110011 01100101 01110010 00111010 01000110 01101001 01100001 01110100 01011111 01010011 01100101 01101001 01100011 01100101 01101110 01110100 01101111 00101111 01110011 01100101 01100011 01110010 01100101 01110100 (Link to here) (could also be a QR code)  1 |  1

FiatSeicento 20:41, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Most of these are good except the party and covid pandemic. For these I would like some changes. Keep in mind that keeping them on the same team is already the option, you may mean to have them not on the team. And for COVID-19, how about "players can't get within 10 feet of each other" instead of all matches suspended? Naleksuh (talk) 20:45, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Personally I'm in favour of suspending the matches instead of being 1,5m from each other.
GrampaSwood (talk) 21:43, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Hmmm, perhaps it would be better as a banner instead of a patch note, as it would be out of place then. Naleksuh (talk) 19:02, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

"Artifact promotional items" Only if someone is willing to actually create them (eg.: Ricochet 2 promo items). — Tark lm(pt-br) 19:58, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

Not really. We don't need to repeat the same steps from previous April fools events. If we ever go to the point of making pages for these "so-called" Artifact promotional items, we mark them as "unused content" that was only found on tf_english.txt with no materials/models, problem solved. - ▪ - 22:25, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

Denied's changes

• Fixed a bug causing the community to constantly complain about the game being dead.  2 |  1
• Added the Spring Cleaning Cosmetic Case<ref>Currently cannot be opened, because the key used to open it wasn't implemented to the game yet</ref>  0 |  0

Denied (Talk) 20:57, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

"Spring Cleaning Cosmetic Case" would imply an update. We will need at least some joke items, maps, etc. — Tark lm(pt-br) 19:58, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

Gabrielwoj's ideas

I've made these long ago, somewhere in February. They are how it'd look on a patch note, so some items have "extra items" below them:

• Introducing the Unusual Trade Up system
  • Players can now change 5 untradable Gen I and Gen III Unusuals in exchange to a tradable Gen II Unusual  3 |  0
• Fixed a bug that certain crates weren't giving a 100% guarantee Unusual upon opening it  3 |  0
• Updated the Vote System
  • Players can no longer vote while playing on plr_hightower and plr_hightower_event  3 |  0
• Weapon changes
  • Market Gardener: Now a reskin to the Shovel
    • Developer notes: We felt that players wielding the Market Gardener was forgeting the core mechanics of TF2, the teamplay. Many players with the Market Gardner would completely forget their teammates, and go just for the Twitch clips. We are still keeping the models and textures untouched, but the weapon now works exactly like the Shovel  3 |  0
  • Phlogistinator: Added back full heatlh refill upon using MMPH
    • Developer notes: We felt that the Phlogistinator wasn't very powerful yet, so we are adding more buffs to it  2 |  0
• Added two new Bot names
  • Crate Depression and Spaghetti Code  3 |  0
• Added the Fort Knight item set ( https://steamcommunity.com/workshop/filedetails/?id=1825677260 )
  • Consists of Homebase Hairdo, Drop Top and Default Defenders  1 |  0
• Added a new community-made taunt ( The Lab Rats Dab )  2 |  0

Regarding the items, we'll need to contact the creators beforehand. — Tark lm(pt-br) 19:58, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

Why? I'm sure item creators will be more than happy for having their items advertised in any way on the Wiki. Plus, we don't need to have each page for each new cosmetic with an image preview because the Wiki doesn't have everything set up on the first day, it usually takes some time for people to add info to it, no need if the stuff we're putting on this update is all fake. The Dab taunt isn't even on the Workshop, people will figure out it's fake as soon they click on the video and read the intro. - ▪ - 22:25, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

The wiki is not for advertisement and we nor Valve "own" these items. Period.

Also, I'd rather not host this event if all we'll be doing is just create a bunch of fake patchnotes and treat the cool stuff as "we just found this on tf_english.txt, but can't create a page right now, sorry :D". — Tark lm(pt-br) 03:48, 26 March 2020 (UTC)

Not to sound mean or anything, but I feel like this one isn't going anywhere. As Tarko said, it's just a bunch of fake patchnotes, most of them not even being that good, and that's pretty much all we have. Unless someone comes up with some really cool extra stuff for the event, I'd be in favour of skipping it as well. The prank could be that there is no prank. VasyaTheWizard ^{(talk) • (contributions)} 06:15, 26 March 2020 (UTC)

---

• New 02-22-2020: Added Smash Bros. promotional item
  • The Battle Ballot - Awarded in Genuine quality for those who pre-purchase Heavy as a DLC fighter in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.  1 |  0

Note from the author suggestion: The Smash Bros. promo item would work well if Nintendo doesn't announce any new character on the game before April 1st, although there's rumors that there might be a Nintendo Direct soon.

Note 2: Because it's a purchase from a store that isn't Steam, probably there should be a mention saying that players who purchased Heavy in Smash should redeem the code that comes with the purchase.

Nintendo is very protective with their IPs, I'd rather not. — Tark lm(pt-br) 19:58, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

It's a joke, it's not meant to be real information. If anything, discard the part about "buying the Fighter Pass Vol. 2" so people won't buy it thinking they'll get the item. Everyone is going to stop at "buy Heavy DLC" because (most likely) there'll be none. - ▪ - 22:25, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

I did acquired permission and taunt files from the creator of the Lab Rats Dab taunt. Naleksuh (talk) 03:00, 26 March 2020 (UTC)

That's great. Are you able to make a fake taunt page for it? I think that'd be really cool. — Tark lm(pt-br) 03:48, 26 March 2020 (UTC)

Naleksuh's ideas

• Fixed a bug where Heavy could take damage  2 |  0
• Added the tenth class  2 |  0
• Removed 2fort  1 |  1
• Added a vote to enable cheats  2 |  0
• Removed the ability to join community servers  1 |  0

I feel like the last one falls under something that addresses a problem in TF2, there's been a problem with community servers declining in the last few years.
GrampaSwood (talk) 08:14, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

Other discussions

• At what time will these pranks go live? Should they cater to people in all timezones or just washington time? The first meaning that it may start at 2pm on March 31st for people in the US, and the second meaning that there could be no pranks when its april first in other countrie's time. Naleksuh (talk) 22:19, 22 March 2020 (UTC)

I don't know what our policy is on things like this, but I think common sense tells to apply it to all timezones - go live as soon as it's April 1st somewhere, and stay live for as long as April 1st still lasts somewhere. Washington time or any other timezone shouldn't be considered 'superior' or more important than others. VasyaTheWizard ^{(talk) • (contributions)} 15:35, 24 March 2020 (UTC)

The day switches on the far east Russian island of Big Diomede
GrampaSwood (talk) 20:11, 24 March 2020 (UTC)

Thing is the timezones can span by a while. According to my calculations, in order to ensure it's up for the entirety of April 1st in every timezone, we would need to put it up at 3am on march 31st, then take it down at 4am on april 2nd, which is a span of two entire days total. But I don't see that as a huge problem. We could also save a bit of time by guaranteeing it up at 8am instead of Midnight, meaning it would be put up at 11am march 31st washington time. I'll save the details for later on, but right now it's just to worry about and make sure everything is ready on the 31st to go live then (washington time). Naleksuh (talk) 21:31, 24 March 2020 (UTC)