Template:StoryTimeline

Legend
Important event

Date	Event	Source
17th Century
1680	Members of the Degroot family begin production of Degroot's Rum that the Demoman would become a fan of centuries later.	Link
18th Century
1788 - December 18th	Old Nick turns his boat around to conquer the South Pole while on a voyage to Australia.	Link
1792	Italian physicist Alessandro Volta invented the battery by mixing zinc, ammonium chloride and molten salt together.	Link
19th Century
1808	The company that produces the scrumpy that the Demoman would become a fan of over a century later begins production of their product.	Link
1814 - June	An editorial cartoon is published in the Gentle Manne's Monthly entitled "An Editorial Cartoon of Some Insighte" starring the editorial's mascot the Gentle Manne of Leisure along with his "Companione".	Link
1822 - September 2nd	Redmond, Blutarch and Gray Mann are born. Of the three, Gray was "absconded with by that scourge of London, the Eagle".	Link
1847	Claude Huggins, after founding the town of Hugginsville on the site of his wife's death and bear mauling because he was too scared to leave, was bullied into changing the name of the town to Two Farts by a band of roving bullies. Once again too scared to completely change the name, Huggins portmanteau-ed the name Two Farts into Teufort.	Link
1849	Gray Mann resurfaces this year and threatens to blackmail Zepheniah Mann for all his Miracle Gravel (Australium).	Link
1850	The last will and testament of Zepheniah Mann is written and enacted.	Link
1850	Australia becomes the world's most advanced country.	Link, Link
1857	Abraham Lincoln invents stairs, replacing rocket jumping.	Link
1861 - August 21th	Redmond and Blutarch Mann sell their gravel mine to Barnabas Hale for 5 cents. Hale then turns it into a coal mine promising jobs for the surrounding region.	Link
1862 - August 5th	Scientists in Australia "nervously assure the world" that there is "No gold after all..." Gold prospectors turn gaze to Canada.	Link, Link
1865	Abraham Lincoln holds his Second Inaugural Address stating, "I say this to you with unvarnished factualism of plain talk: I love Arena Mode."	Link
1865 - April 20th	The War Department publishes a wanted poster for John "Tower of Hats" Booth for the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.	Link
1869	Shiny's Bullion is established.	Link
1880	Emily begins her search for Australium.	Link
1890	Blutarch Mann commissions Radigan Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine.	Link
1890	Emily requests Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Link
1890	Biggs starts producing steel rods.	Link
1894 - July 17th	Radigan Conagher finishes building a Life Extender Machine for Blutarch Mann.	Link
1894 - August 3rd	Radigan Conagher finishes another Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Link
Unknown year - April 14th	Radigan Conagher finishes a third Life Extender Machine (for an undisclosed party).	Link
1895 - January 25th	"Hills Discovered!" The Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper runs a story about Australia stating "Mysterious new geographic lumps confound men of Australian science."	Link
1895 - March 6th	"War, Mate!" Two months later, the king of Australia declares war on hills stating "There will be time to study these so-called hills after they are dead."	Link
1895 - April 5th	"King Conquers Hill!" It is reported by the Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper that the "Coward Mound Surrendered Without a Fight."	Link
20th Century
1900 - January 23rd	"Mann Co. invents 'ro-bot'." It is revealed by an Australian newspaper that Mann Co., an Australian weapons giant, has invented the "robot". In the article, Mann Co. officials attempt to assure public concerns over their 'ro-bot' by stating that "These automatons will only be used for violence." On a minor note, a poll shows that "Robin" is the most popular Australian girl's name.	Link
1900	Australia tries to colonize space by this time. They seem to have failed.	Link
1901	Newell and Sons debuts a "turnless" board game - Teams and Fortresses 2 - with explosive "real-time" gameplay.	Link
1907 - June 15th	Mann Co. wins safest workplace in Badlands.	Link
1910 - January 24th	Mann Co. wins their bid to be the sole munitions supplier to Reliable Excavation and Demolition and Builder's League United mercenaries.	Link
1915 - August 13th	A mineshaft collapses on top of Bilious Hale and his employees, but Bilious Hale punches his way out saving himself and his living employees. 14 die from cave-in and punch-related injuries.	Link
1921	Franklin D. Roosevelt loses both of his legs while rocket jumping. As a result, he perfects the modern staircase.	Link
1921	Bilious Hale, eager to re-ignite the nation's waning interest in coal, introduced the steam-powered hat at the Paris World Fashion Expo.	Link
1922 - March 13th	Bilious Hale permanently halts production of all coal-powered weapons.	Link
1922 - March 13th	Mann Co. shuts down their dual coal mine and munitions factory after 50 years of operation but preserves it as a museum of Mann Co. history.	Link
1923	Red Shed beers are distilled in Tougaloo.	Link
1930	Team Fortress Classic takes place - Redmond and Blutarch Mann hire the Classic Mercs to battle in the Gravel Wars. Bilious Hale supplies them with weapons and ammunition.	Link
1932	American soft drink magnate Theophilus Bonk added sugar to the same mixture as the first set of batteries, creating Bonk! Cola.	Link
1932	New Zealand is encapsulated in a dome and sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.	Link
1937	Redstone Cargo is established.	Link
1939 - September 1st	World War II begins. Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War II, the Soldier was rejected from every branch of the U.S. military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself.	Link
1941 - September	The Heavy's father, a counter-revolutionary, is killed. The Heavy and his family are deported to a North Siberian gulag.	Link
1941 - December	The North Siberian gulag burns to the ground with all its guards tortured to death and all prisoners, including the Heavy and his family, escape.	Link
1942	New Zealander infant Mun-Dee accidentally breaks a hole in his country's underwater dome while flying away in a rocketship, leaving his parents the only survivors. The rocket crashes in Australia, where the baby is raised by a local couple and eventually becomes the Sniper.	Link
1945 - September 2nd	World War II ends.
1945	Jeremy, who will later take on the moniker of Scout, is born in or around this year.	Link
1949	The Soldier ends his Nazi killing spree in Poland upon hearing that World War II had already ended in 1945.	Link
1957	While Saxton Hale and Margret are beating panthers to death, Charles Darling kidnaps the panthers Hale and Margret were punching to put them in his new animal dungeon.	Link
1959	Primaprime comes out with a series of instructional films.	Link
Early 1960s	Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action debuts in the U.S. It is followed by ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost.	Link
1961	Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales first arrives on newsstands.	Link
1962	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuts in the U.S.	Link
1962	Margret's husband Roger's funeral is held. A giant snapping turtle attacks and Saxton Hale promptly strangles it with his suit jacket.	Link
1962	Mayor Mike starts making Trevor act like an Italian Stereotype.	Link
1962	The alcoholic Demoman's body begins to scrounge most of its nutrients from grain alcohol and aspirin.	Link
1963	Only four items are being produced for the elderly: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon follow.	Link
1964 - March	The first, and possibly only, issue of Saxton Hale's Mail Storm is published.	Link
1965	The Engineer creates several mechanical contraptions, including the Sentry Gun, while under contract with TF Industries.	Link
1968	Boy's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale comes under fire from the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency. Pressured by the Senate, Mann Co. changes the title to Girl's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale.	Link
1968 - June	The Gravel War - the main setting for Team Fortress 2.	Link
1969 - August	Saxton Hale firebombs Woodstock from a helicopter due to a longtime feud with hippies.	Link
1971	In Teufort, all but The Administrator's genealogy records are destroyed, apparently for no reason.	Link
1971	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl ends publication.	Link
1971	The RED team steals an intelligence briefcase from BLU, the Engineer does experiments with teleporting bread, and the RED team must fight against a large bread monster with the help of Miss Pauling.	Link
1971 - 1 day	Gray Mann assassinates Redmond and Blutarch Mann to gain control of their respective corporations. This also marks the end of The Gravel War.	Link
1971 - that evening/night	After Gray Mann kills Redmond and Blutarch Mann and leaves the room, the brothers arise from their bodies as ghosts, or spirits. They immediately begin fighting over who was killed last, and therefore who won the Gravel War. The brothers visit the Soldier at Castle Merasmus for advice, who tells them that neither of them is dead until they "cross over into the next world". Both Redmond and Blutarch leave to go to separate pay phones to call their previous employees from life. Blutarch calls Miriam and Redmond calls Phyllis, both telling them to go to the Alamo's new location and retrieve their bodies, to have the mercenaries deliver the bodies of the other brother to Hell.	Link
1971 - next day	Saxton Hale, catching wind of Gray Mann's plans to gain control of Mann Co., re-hires both RED and BLU unemployed mercenary teams to protect his company and kill robots without pay.	Link
1971 - October 29th	Merasmus the Magician attends WizardCon MCLVI as a guest speaker, giving a two-hour talk titled "Living with a Non-Wizard".	Link
1971 - October 30th	Merasmus returns from WizardCon to find that the RED Soldier, now a park ranger, has let his castle be overrun by raccoons and turned into a raccoon sanctuary. Being evicted from his own home as a result, and soldier gaining ownership of his castle, Merasmus snaps and transforms into a powerful ghost version of himself, vowing to kill everyone the Soldier cares about.	Link
1971 - December	In the midst of the Robot War, the RED team and Miss Pauling discuss where Gray Mann's army is going to attack next. Soldier reveals that he was able to infiltrate Gray Gravel Co. and learn their battle plans while wearing a cardboard robot costume the day before. Miss Pauling orders him to make more costumes; and she, Soldier, and Heavy infiltrate together a week later, witnessing the unveiling of the Mecha-Engineer in the process.	Link
1972 - March	To keep the Robot Wars from becoming another Gravel Wars with each side in perpetual stalemate, Gray Mann surrenders to Saxton Hale, ceasing all fighting. Then, invoking the Mann Co. Challenge, Gray Mann has his daughter Olivia Mann, who is now CEO of Gray Gravel Co., challenge Hale to unarmed combat to take over Mann Co. as CEO. Unwilling to fight a child, Hale promotes one of his assistants, Mr. Bidwell to CEO to fight Olivia. However, when Mr. Bidwell refuses to fight her, Hale unwittingly fires him and thus gives up CEO rights to Olivia. Olivia then transfers CEO rights to her father Gray Mann, who then proceeds to fire the mercs.	Link
1972 - March	Administrator, hearing the news of Gray Mann gaining control of Mann Co., goes into hiding and orders her assistant Miss Pauling to do the same.	Link
1972 - March	RED Spy prepares to leave Teufort upon Gray Mann taking control of Mann Co. and the Administrator going missing and informs RED Scout to do the same. Scout, who had recently broken both his arms, asks Spy to drive him to the Teufort Bank where he is keeping all his savings from mercing for Redmond Mann and Mann Co. Spy refuses at first but begrudgingly accepts to take Scout after Scout brings up disappointing his mom. After arriving, it turns out that Scout had been "investing" all his mercing money on 12 cubic yards of Tom Jones memorabilia in order to sell it all when he dies, however, Mike, the mayor of Teufort, has them arrested for destruction of Teufort.	Link
1972 - September 6th	Soldier murders Tom Jones in his own home. Merasmus, who was Tom Jones' roommate, gets charged for the murder. Merasmus ends up in jail with three other prisoners, one named T-Bone.	Link
1972 - September 6th - 7th	Miss Pauling, under orders from Administrator, begins to reassemble the Mercs back together again starting with Soldier, who has become an illegal celebrity tour guide, then moving to Pyro, who has become the CEO of Frontier Engineering, and Demoman, who has remained unemployed since he was fired by Gray. They then make a plan to take a flight to Siberia to pick up Heavy and then Australia for Sniper and then fly back to the US to get Engineer, Medic, Scout and Spy, until they read a newspaper from Teufort. Meanwhile, Gray and Olivia finally manage to find Hale's secret Australium stockpile, only to discover that the Administrator had already stolen it from him.	Link
1972 - September 7th	Spy and Scout, who were arrested 5 months prior, are set to have a trial in the City of Teufort and be hanged for their crimes.	Link
1972 - September 7th	Saxton Hale is released from the Millhaven Ultra Prison for Dangerous Men after successfully burning down most of Charles Darling's zoo and is picked up by Margret, an old friend of his, and tells her he was originally there to ask Charles Darling for help in getting Mann Co. back from Gray Mann. Margret then takes Hale to her boss' office, who turns out to be Charles Darling. Darling explains that he wants the Australium to prolong the lives of his critically endangered animals, and reveals the Administrator's theft to Hale.	Link
1972 - September 7th	Soldier and Demoman try to free Scout and Spy from their trial. Unfortunately, Scout began telling the court about how Soldier was never actually in the army. Soldier, completely enraged, objects, kills the town Counselor and reveals to the town who he and Demoman are, and are promptly arrested and added to trial. Meanwhile, Miss Pauling and Pyro go to the Teufort Library. Pyro burns some students' textbooks as a campfire while Miss Pauling asks a librarian for genealogy records (suspiciously for The Administrator, aka Helen; her name can be seen on the file that Miss Pauling then throws into Pyro's campfire). At the gallows, it is revealed that Spy, Scout, Soldier and Demoman aren't actually on trial for any murders and destruction they did commit, but for acts of civil mismanagement that Mike the Mayor did to Teufort. Miss Pauling arrives from the library just in time to save Scout from being hung and reveals to the town that the mercs couldn't have done any of their accused crimes because they don't have the political power to do so, but are all things a mayor could do, and also tells the town that a mayor can't hang people and saves Scout, Spy, Soldier and Demoman.	Link
1972 - September 8th	After freeing the four mercenaries, Spy, Demoman, and Miss Pauling go to Australia to search for Sniper while Scout, Soldier, and Pyro search for Heavy in Siberia. While dealing with the cold, Soldier slowly goes insane with hunger cravings and hallucinations, even having a conversation with "Christopher, the Communist Mountain". Pyro and Scout find Amelia Earhart's wrecked plane, where Scout wears a hot dog suit to warm himself. However, Amelia Earhart had a very great sweet tooth and her plane was stockpiled with honey, which nearby bears are drawn to. Soldier then proceeds to eat the honey, with Pyro and Scout following him. However, they only get through three jars of honey and the bears eventually come over to the plane. The group fends off the bears, with Scout get mauled across his stomach and Soldier and Pyro killing all of them. After the battle, Heavy shows up to inform the group that they had only fought the the cubs and that the mother bear is coming. Scout slowly bleeds out and falls unconscious while Soldier and Pyro watch Heavy defeat the bear. Later, the group head back home to Heavy's family, where Scout recovers and Soldier finally eats. In addition, Zhanna, Heavy's sister, becomes attracted to and starts a relationship with Soldier, after failing to do so with Scout, who prefers to wait for Miss Pauling to reciprocate his advances. Scout asks Heavy to join the team again, but he declines stating that he has obligations to protect his family after an incident in a gulag. However, Heavy's family tells him that people have tried to hurt them in the past, though they tortured them and are now able to protect themselves. Heavy first asks if it pays well, if it's dangerous, and if there's evil men that he will face, but soon joins the team again.	Link
1972 - September 9th	Spy, Demoman, and Miss Pauling arrive in Australia. Scout reports that Heavy rejoined the team to Miss Pauling by phone. The Team Fortress Classic team is sent by Gray Mann to hunt the rebuilding Team Fortress 2 team.	Link
1972 - "weeks" later	Heavy, Pyro, Soldier, Scout, and Zhanna arrive in Australia. Heavy and Scout head for the secret Australium reserves at Ayers Rock, Soldier, Zhanna, and Spy plan on infiltrating an Australian naval base, and Miss Pauling and Demoman head to Sniper's family home to recruit him. Sniper quickly subdues the duo, while Spy easily convinces the sailors to let his group in, as Australia's Australium supplies have run dry. Heavy and Scout confirm this when they find Ayers Rock to be completely hollow, hiding a disused mine, but discover and team up with Saxton Hale and Margaret, who were also investigating the area. Sniper reveals that his parents have died he was adopted, while Pauling reveals that the group's next destination is actually the hoem of Sniper's birth parents. Pauling, Zhanna, and the all of the recruited mercs sans Heavy and Scout meet up and travel to New Zealand in an Australian Navy submarine. Sniper's parents, Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah, reveal that New Zealand's Australium reserves have been squandered on paint for rockets, of which only one remains. Lar-Nah subsequently steals the rocket and escapes to outer space, while Bill-Bel steals the submarine, leaving the others to die in the flooding base. The Classic mercenaries and Medic then arrive, shoot Sniper in the chest, and capture the others.	Link
1972 - "at least six hours" later	The Classic team take their captives to Gray Mann's island base, where Soldier and Zhanna are interrogated by the Classic Pyro, Sniper is operated on by Medic, and the others are taken to a holding cell. The Classic Heavy, realizing the power of Gray's Life Extender Machine, betrays him and rips the device out of his back. Zhanna cuts off her hand to free herself and kills the Classic Pyro. At Gray's dying request, they take him Pauling while they free their allies, killing the Classic Spy and Demoman in the process. Gray pleads with Pauling to stop the Administrator, claiming that she is far worse than he. Pauling proclaims to be fully compliant in her scheme, irritating Spy. Gray succumbs to his injuries and dies. Medic uses advanced medical technology to bring Sniper, who has since died of his injuries, back to life. Sniper claims to have spoken to his encouraging adoptive parents in Heaven, which Medic dismisses as a hallucination. Sniper then escapes the operating room, infuriating the Classic Heavy, who kills Archimedes. While Medic revives his pet, the Classic Heavy learns of the other mercs' escape and rallies his troops, forcing Medic to stay inside. Subsequently, Medic plans to betray the Classic team. The Classic Heavy sends leech robots designed to suck the traces of Australium out of the Australian people to kill the escapees.	Link
1978	School in Teufort starts after being cancelled for 6 years.	Link
1987 - December 4th	According to God himself, Scout dies.	Link
21st Century
2022	The lease for Teufort's Federal Pedophile Sanctuary expires.	Link
71st Century
7039	Saxton Hale's ownership rights of the Sniper's likeness expire.	Link

Partially translated:

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